Outdoor Safety Tips for Women:
Friendly Predators
A friendly predator’s attack doesn't start with a knife or a gun - it starts with a request for help - OR an offer of help. Either way, it's fake!
GOLDEN RULE: If a stranger is trying to get closer or alone with you – politely but firmly disengage.
A friendly predator (maybe with a female partner) will try to ease your doubts and lure you into a trap - using charm before harm. Refusing to engage is NOT rude; it's self-protection.
You don't have to be 'mean,' you just have to use the Short Answer Method: 'I can’t help you,' or 'No, sorry,' or 'No, thank you,' followed by immediate movement away. Do NOT wait for their reaction - just leave!
Expect anything; suspect everything. You needn’t be paranoid, just wisely skeptical of anyone approaching you.
However, do remember, of course, that the vast majority of people are NOT threats, but this page will help you spot the ones who are.
CAVEAT on INTUITION
I once took a test to see if I could spot a serial killer's photo. The test had a pair of photos side-by-side – one of a serial killer and one of a Nobel Prize winner. Neither of them were well-known to the public. I had to guess which was which. There was a series of 20 pairs.
I guessed correctly about half the time – which, statistically, is random chance. It surprised me. It might've been because they were photos only and I wasn't able to judge their mannerisms (or "vibe") or the situation – otherwise maybe I would've scored a bit better. But maybe not.
The point is: don't be too sure about your radar (intuition) always warning you of danger - it's not perfect. Even if your intuition is quiet, it's better to err on the side of caution by playing it safe.
Also see a wolf in sheep's clothing and mind games.
A FRIENDLY PREDATOR'S LURES
A friendly predator may be good-looking, well-dressed, and charming. Or he'll seem oh so harmless and may have a female partner. Or he may appear homeless and helpless.
From clumsy to clever, all lures boil down to ONE SIMPLE WARNING SIGN: HE’S TRYING TO GET NEAR YOU OR ISOLATE YOU.
Lures Offering Help
► Fake Helper: Lures include a mugger helping you with changing a flat tire on your parked car (that he’d flattened). If you're in a remote location, say, "No thank you." Then either call a friend or call for roadside assistance.
► Fake Helper: A man stopped his car on a lonely road near Pittsfield MA to tell a woman hiker of a rabid raccoon up ahead and offered her a ride past it. She declined and headed back home. Months later, she saw him in the news for a series of rapes.
► Fake Helper: Joe Noriega’s method was to ask young girls at bus stops in Fresno CA if they wanted a ride home. But once the seemingly friendly guy got them alone, he violently raped them. Instead, say, "No, thank you."
► Fake Helper: Two women were walking home in Calgary, Canada when a man, posing as a gentleman, offered to escort them even though the women repeatedly insisted they did not need his help. As they reached a dark area, he ran off with their purses. Instead, DEMAND "NO, thank you."
Lures Asking for Help
► “Excuse me, do you know the time?” is the most common set-up lure. It gives him an excuse to move closer to talk. Just say, “Sorry, I don’t know.”
► The Sympathy Lure: A young woman was staying with her family at a motel when a nice young man on crutches asked her for help getting into his room. Once again serial killer Ted Bundy snared a helpful victim. Instead, say "I'll ask the manager to help you."
► Another Sympathy Lure: A man with a plaster cast on his arm asked a woman at a lakeside park to come help him with his boat. He crushed her skull with his phony plaster cast – another ploy of serial killer Ted Bundy. Later that day, he used the same lure to kill a second woman. Instead, say, "Sorry, I can't help you."
► The 'I Can't Hear You' Ploy: Theresa was strolling in her quiet neighborhood when a man pulled up in a car to ask for directions. She began to direct him when he interrupted, “Please speak up, I can’t hear you.” As Theresa spoke louder and moved closer, he suddenly grabbed for her arm and began to open his car door. Dodging, she dashed away. Do NOT give directions. Just say, “Sorry, I don’t know.”
► The Fake Crisis: A Chicago woman approached a half-dozen female drivers, said she locked her keys in her car, and asked for a ride to a locksmith. Once inside their cars she pulled a knife and robbed them. Instead, say, "Sorry, I can't help you." Or offer to call a locksmith for them while your doors remain locked, your window remains almost fully closed, and your engine is running.
[Females commit approximately 20% of violent crimes (per the FBI). So evaluate ALL strangers by their behavior and red flags.]
BOTTOM LINE: Stay away from anyone with sad stories, asking for directions or the time, etc. A predator’s "conversation" is a scam. Refuse all requests. You are NOT obligated to chitchat. It's far better to be "politely rude" than to end up a victim.
The chaos of a sudden threat forces you to make split-second decisions. Nonetheless, understanding your options now will help your intuition choose an option then. See a victims options - overview and Set Your Boundaries at facing danger.
Enhancing Your Options for Outdoor Safety
► Deter a predator by carrying a personal security alarm (screamer or noisemaker) & pepper spray in plain sight. Those pages show you how to most effectively use them.
► Trust your gut and exit if something feels off.
► Make noise, create distance, or seek populated areas.
► Avoid isolated spots; vary routines.
KEY TAKEAWAY: Friendly Predators start with a request for help - OR an offer of help. Either way, it's fake! The #1 red flag? Anyone trying to get closer or get you alone. Politely disengage - no explanation needed. If you're not sure what to say, simply say, "NO, THANK YOU." Then LEAVE!
This page shows how to protect yourself from Friendly Predators who use charm to manipulate a target. Now learn how to protect yourself from Force Predators who rely on a surprise in an Ambush Zone.
NOTICE: This non-profit website is for informational purposes only and is drawn from the bibliography and USDOJ. Use the information at your own risk. See disclaimers.
Crime-Safety-Security > Outdoor Safety Overview > Friendly Predators
