TEEN ABUSE
Violent Relationships
FAQ

You are not alone. Help and safety are here right now.
If you are in immediate danger, call the police! You deserve to be safe and feel safe and respected in your relationship. You can escape – thousands of young women do it every year and go on to live free, happy lives.

This page gives you clear information and step-by-step guidance so you can protect yourself.

How common is teen dating abuse? Teen dating violence is far too common. According to the latest CDC data (2025):

► About 1 in 12 high school students who dated experienced physical dating violence in the past year.

► About 1 in 10 experienced sexual dating violence. Female students face significantly higher rates than male students. Many college-age women also experience stalking, harassment, pushing, choking, hitting, or controlling jealousy from partners.

Abused teens often stay because of fear, low self-esteem, emotional dependence, or pressure from the abuser – not because they “deserve” it or can’t leave. The good news: you can leave, and support is available.

What does an abusive partner look like?

The profile of a teen batterer closely matches patterns seen in intimate partner violence (see Battered Woman Syndrome and Domestic Violence):

► Jealous and controlling – he chooses your friends, checks up on you constantly, criticizes you, bosses you around, demands sex, and makes all decisions while ignoring your feelings.

► Your family and friends worry about your safety, and he makes you nervous too. He is quick-tempered, intimidating, has a history of fighting, grabs or hits you, and may drink or use drugs heavily.

► He speaks badly about his ex-girlfriends, pushed the relationship too fast, and refuses to accept a breakup.

How do you escape safely? 

Many women stay longer than they want to, hoping their love can heal him. The truth is: you cannot change an abusive partner - but you can escape your abuser. Here’s how:

► Get clear support first. A counselor helps you see your situation clearly and builds your confidence. An abuser clouds your thinking; a supporter helps clear the clouds. See the RESOURCES below.
► Make the decision firm. Decide once and for all that the relationship is over. You are not obligated to stay out of guilt or past promises.
► Build your safety team. Tell trusted friends, family, teachers, coaches, or campus security that you are ending it. They can screen calls, walk with you, and support you daily.
► Break up in public. Do it in a safe, public place with your safety team nearby.
► Be clear and firm - do not “let him down easy.” He may twist softness into hope. Stay calm and polite but direct. A simple script (practice it with a counselor): “Our relationship is no longer working for me. I no longer want to be with you, and I know I won’t change my mind.” Do not apologize, explain old arguments, negotiate, or insult him. End the conversation politely and walk away.
► Trust your intuition. If anything feels dangerous, get help immediately - don’t wait.

Many young women suffer abuse and often do not turn to anyone for help.

Of course, call the police in an emergency and/or use a Personal Security Alarm: (screamer or noisemaker) until the police arrive.

Otherwise, when you're alone, contact the RESOURCES below whenever you need to talk. Those kind, compassionate experts can and will help you escape your confusing situation and help you become strong and wise for the rest of your life. You can trust them.

RESOURCES

► RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network) www.rainn.org or 800-656-HOPE (800-656-4673)
► National Coalition Against Domestic Violence www.ncadv.org
► National Domestic Violence Hotline via text or call at 800-799-7233.
► LoveisRespect (teen/young adult focused) text “LOVEIS” to 22522

Pages related to Teen Abuse

► Date Rape (or Acquaintance Rape)
► Stalker Warning Signs
► Cyber Stalking FAQ.

NOTICE: This non-profit website is for informational purposes only and is drawn from the bibliography and USDOJ. Use the information at your own risk. See disclaimers.

Crime-Safety-Security > Women's Safety Overview > Teen Abuse

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