The self-blame of rape victims is pointed in the wrong direction.

Victims of violent crimes are often so afraid of their rage toward their attackers that they defend against this fury by turning it against themselves. Why didn’t I know better? Why did I put myself in that situation? Why didn’t I handle it better? Why wasn’t I more courageous? I should have done this or that differently. It’s the old “could’a, should’a, would’a” conundrum – where hindsight is always 20/20. The victim is now attacking herself with regret and remorse.

A self-blaming victim needs to think about predator/prey situations more objectively by removing herself from the equation. Imagine someone else – an innocent, trusting woman who trusted somebody bigger and stronger and was overpowered and violated. Would you blame her? Did her innocent misjudgment justify her being violated – especially in such an intimate way? Of course not. Nor can you blame yourself.

Your anger is your outrage at being violated. To begin healing, you need to direct your anger at the predator who violated you, rather than at yourself.

Enhancing Your Recovery

In addition to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) therapy, what can you do to empower your recovery? Victims of both stranger rape and date rape can escape the lingering effects of a foul crime by becoming survivors – thriving stronger than ever by learning rape escape options for the future.

An excellent means to regain control of their lives – and to heal – is to thoroughly learn self defense. See Rape Survivors, Self Defense Techniques, and Choosing a Self Defense Class.

Also see many resources at Google's Rape Victims' Self-Blame.

Enhancing Your Self Defense

Deter a predator by holding Pepper Spray & a Personal Security Alarm (noisemaker or screamer) in plain sight. And those pages show how to use them most effectively.

Crime-Safety-Security > Newsletter Archive > Rape Victims

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