TEEN ABUSE
Violent Relationships
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Teen Abuse - millions of young women are in violent relationships. Learn how to escape teen dating abuse.

73 percent of Ohio State University students surveyed said they know someone who has been emotionally, physically or sexually assaulted. One in three students reported having been humiliated, pressured into having sex or hit by a loved one, mirroring concerns at campuses nationwide. ... Women ages 16 to 24 experience the highest per-capita rates of intimate violence. 33 percent said they have experienced an obsessive, jealous partner; 15 percent have been pressured into sex; and 14 percent have been stalked or harassed. About 13 percent reported having been pushed or shoved; 11 percent choked, hit or kicked; and 8 percent threatened with violence. ... Students surveyed said teen abuse victims remain in violent relationships because of a fear of leaving, low self-esteem and emotional dependence.
Excerpted from The Columbus Dispatch – 26 September 2006

The profile of a teen batterer is very similar to adult batterers:

• Jealous and controlling, he chooses your friends, checks on you, criticizes you, bosses you, demands sex, and makes all decisions while disregarding your opinion.
• Your family and friends worry about your safety, and he makes you nervous, too. Intimidating and threatening, he is quick-tempered, and has a history of fighting. He grabs or hits you and is too fond of alcohol or drugs.
• He speaks contemptuously of his ex-girlfriends, got too serious too soon about your relationship, and won’t accept breaking up.

Countless women have wasted their lives by thinking their tender, loving care can mend such a troubled man. You cannot change him, but you can rescue yourself by getting away from him as soon as possible. Here's how:

• A woman's self-esteem, habits, and economic situation have an enormous impact on her decision to escape from a bad relationship, yet she can’t see clearly because she's up to her eyeballs in a rut of teen abuse. A counselor will help you step back and look at your life clearly.
• Make sure you have absolutely decided to end the relationship for once and for all. Realize that you’re not obligated to fulfill any prior expectations and shouldn’t feel guilty for opposing his desires. Be very sure of this so you’ll firmly safeguard your right of freedom and also avoid confusing yourself – or confusing him.
• Tell your friends, family, teachers, coaches, and security guards that you're going to break up with him. They will be your support network and help screen calls and visits as well as escort you through your daily schedule.
• Break up with him in a public place with your support network nearby.
• Don’t “let him down easy” or he’ll think you’re not sure and might change your mind. Clearly reject him, but avoid giving specific reasons because he’ll challenge each one. Remain calm and polite. The key is carefully balancing between never insulting him yet never being warm to him either. Simply say, "Our relationship is no longer working for me. I no longer want to be with you, and I know I won’t change my mind.” Period. Do not apologize. Do not discuss old arguments. Do not negotiate – and clearly expect a proper response. End the conversation. (You might rehearse a script you've carefully written with the help of a counselor.)
• Trust your intuition. If you feel you're in danger, get help immediately.

As many as 24 percent of young women suffer teen abuse and rarely turn to their parents for help. Abused teens and abusive teenagers often continue that behavior throughout life. Your life needn’t be a common tragedy. See Battered Woman Syndrome and Domestic Violence.

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