Victim's Options
3rd Option: Outsmarting

What strategies will help a victim talk her way out of danger? Now is the time to see which strategies fit you and which don’t.

Ann felt something was wrong when she returned home. As she stepped into the kitchen, a strange young man was tearing his way through her cabinets and drawers. "When I saw him, I tried to leave," said Ann. "But he slammed the door and pulled out a knife." ... She was terrified of becoming a victim. The intruder told her to go upstairs with him. She refused. He tried to force her into a bathroom, but became angry when she tried to lock the door. ... Though nervous, Ann tried to remain calm and reason with the man throughout the ordeal. She told him he would face greater charges if he harmed her in any way. "I just tried to talk to him," she said. "I told him 'Take my car, take my jewelry, take my money. Take whatever you want. Just don't harm me.' " ... The intruder took her advice, grabbed all he could, and drove off in her car. "I told him I wouldn't call the police," she said. "I lied."
Excerpted from The Charleston Post and Courier (SC) – 09 December 2000

Kathleen Gregg said two men entered her home, threatened her with a knife and tied her up face down on the floor. ``One man was saying to the other man, `I don't care what happens. We're going to go down together and she is going down with us,''' Gregg said. ... The intruders went through the house, rifling through jewelry and taking things they thought they could sell. ``One man was sitting on me and I kept thinking, `I need to get out of this house,' and I said, `The only way I can get you money is if we go to the bank.''' One of the assailants held a knife to her throat during the ride. ... Inside the bank, as she asked for money from a teller, she said one of the men stood beside her with the knife in her side. She gave the money to the men, then bolted along a hallway and hid in a closet. ``I thought 'I am not getting back into that car with this man and going anywhere. I've got to get out of there,''' she said.
Excerpted from The New York Times – 09 October 2003

“Appeal only to his self-interest, never to his mercy.” So wrote Robert Greene in “The 48 Laws of Power” of the ruthless political and military strategies of the legendary Machiavelli, Sun Tzu, and Von Clausewitz.

Greene describes how predators use selective honesty and partial truths, play dumb, and get victims to “play with the cards he deals.” However, the reverse is true as well. The victim can be selectively honest, play dumb, and refuse to play with his cards. Mix truth and lies together.

The storeowner was suddenly facing a ski-masked gunman demanding money. The owner slowly opened the money drawer, then raised his hands overhead and stepped back. While scooping out the cash, the gunman spotted a lock-box on the floor and demanded the key for it. The owner pointed to a key hanging on a nail just behind the gunman. As the robber was distracted while reaching for the key, the owner swiftly grabbed his own hidden gun and shot the robber dead.
Excerpted from The Daily Oklahoman – 10 November 2000

Carla Rivera didn't know whether to scream or just give in to her kidnapper. Keeping her cool, she instead persuaded the kidnapper to let her out of his sight just long enough to call police. ... Rivera's ordeal started about 8:30 a.m. as she pumped gas at a gas station. A man pointed a high-powered gun at her and attempted to rob her. "He asked me if I had any money," said Rivera, 28, still shaking inside her husband's truck minutes after the incident. "I said I didn't. So he said he wanted to go to Fontana to get some. I tried to talk him out of it. I convinced him to come over here. I said I had a friend who would give me cash." ... With a handgun inches from her head, Rivera nervously drove a few miles to where her husband, Robert, works. Her kidnapper dropped her off to go inside and get the money, but not before issuing a warning. "He said, 'You have 10 minutes before I start spraying,'" said Rivera, tears falling down her face. She entered the building and called police. The man traded fire with three officers before he was shot and killed.
Excerpted from The San Bernardino County Sun (CA) – 20 January 2004

VICTIM'S OUTSMARTING STRATEGIES

No, you don’t have a match, an extra cigarette or piece of gum. “It’s my last one.” No, you don’t know the directions to wherever. And, "No, you can't borrow my cell phone. The battery is dead." All said with a gruff voice. A criminal’s "conversation" is a test. Tough targets tend not to be selected as a victim. It doesn't matter if you’re considered rude.

(Better yet, don’t let him come near. Take an aggressive stance, raise a hand in a “Stop!” gesture, and fiercely tell him to "Stop!" If he persists, you’ll have more chance to flee before he gets near.)

Creative tactics like the ones below often save people selected as victims. Choose the gambits that suit you, or devise some of your own. But be very ready to instantly shift gears and flee, surrender, or fight.
• Sometimes a belligerent thug will mistakenly believe you’ve insulted him. Even if innocent, don't argue with a fool – instead, simply apologize to placate him. One-third of all homicides arises from petty altercations.
• Befriend him. If you treat him with respect, it might be harder for him to depersonalize and attack you.
• Rather than argue and dictate your wishes to him – ask him what he wants. Not that you’ll necessarily grant his wishes, but you may discover a compromise or solution. Of course, never trust his promises.
• Appeal to his pride. Act like you expect him to behave honorably.
• Tell him, “God is watching you. Now is your chance to redeem yourself in His eyes by leaving peacefully.” Some criminals, believe it or not, are very religious.
• Ask him, “Is this really necessary?” Strangely enough, there have been times when this simple question stopped a criminal dead in his tracks as he pondered it.
• Pretend friends are about to arrive or are waiting for you nearby. He doesn't want witnesses.
• Look at an escape route and yell, “Officer! Officer!” Then run toward your imaginary rescuer. Criminals usually look around before pouncing but are quick to believe a cop suddenly arrived.
• Pretend the police have already been called and are about to arrive, “Oh, you’re the guy they called the cops for! They’re looking all over for you! You’d better run!”
• Claim to be a witch and threaten to cast a spell on him. Many people are superstitious and gullible.
• Fake insanity, an epileptic seizure, heart attack, asthma attack, or pretend to faint.
• Sometimes, a thunderous command to “STOP!” – as a parent to a child – will dissuade him.
• Lull him into dropping his guard – to precede your sudden switch to fighting and/or fleeing.
• Act like you’re a raging maniac, howling loon, or barking madwoman. This is a powerful tactic fully explained in Animal Role-Modeling and Psycho Psyching in Stress Control - Optimal Mindset.

Ashley Smith said armed fugitive [Atlanta courthouse killer] Brian Nichols took her hostage in the parking lot of her apartment when she returned from a store. "He said, 'I'm not going to hurt you if you just do what I say,"' she said. Nichols tied her up with masking tape, a curtain and extension cord. ... But as the night wore on, she tried to win Nichols' trust by telling him about her life. "I knew if I made him feel comfortable then I could get things the way I wanted them and not the way he wanted them," Smith said. ... He eventually untied her, and some of the fear lessened as they talked. Nichols told Smith he felt like "he was already dead," but Smith urged him to consider the fact that he was still alive a "miracle." "You're here in my apartment for some reason," she told him, saying he might be destined to be caught and to spread the word of God to fellow prisoners. She also read the bible to Nichols. He finally let Smith go.
Excerpted from a CBS/AP report – 14 March 2005 [See The Lie You Desperately Want to Believe in Surrendering (about halfway down the page).]

The home invader told the victim he'd kill her unless she looked away. She told him her grandson would be returning soon, but the man told her "Well, I'll kill both of you.” ... She knew from watching crime shows on television that she should try to befriend him. After the man blindfolded her, she told him they should "stick together" because they're both poor. She then led the robber to her purse in the kitchen and offered him beer. ... "Sgt. Chuck Lesaltato said she apparently did the right thing by talking to the robber, but that depends on each individual case. "It's one of those things where the victim has to identify whether it's working or not. If the perpetrator becomes more violent, obviously it's not working and the victim needs to rethink what she's doing."
Excerpted from The Sarasota Herald Tribune – 03 October 2003

VICTIM'S OUTSMARTING NO-NO'S

In all, victims must guard against the pitfall of mirror imaging: wherein a victim projects her values onto a predator without realizing how evil his mind-set is. We tend to see and hear what we want to see and hear – hoping for the best while trusting a deceptive predator. Instead, outsmart him!

I ran a gym surrounded by drug dealers, prostitutes, and thugs in the meatpacking district of Manhattan’s far west Greenwich Village in the mid-1990s. The members, typically vibrant New York artists and professionals from around the world, were buzzed-in the locked door as they arrived. I supervised their fitness and rehab exercise and taught one-on-one street fighting – they loved gaining the savvy as much as the bragging rights. ... One day as a member entered, a thug tailgated in behind him and immediately began brazenly snooping and darting about looking for loot. I slipped a monkey wrench into my back pocket and casually went to greet him. ... I played dumb and, assuming the thug was armed, welcomed him as though he was a prospective member even as he rummaged for plunder. I ended my quick pitch with, "You’ll like this gym as long as you don't mind working out with all those loudmouthed off-duty cops." Nodding toward the macho young lawyers and stockbrokers braying and pumping in the exercise area, I sneered, “Just listen to them!” Taken aback, the thug muttered a curse and abruptly left empty-handed. No cops were there, but the thug believed my bluff.

I’d opted first for outsmarting. But, had the thug started to pull out a weapon (which he probably had – otherwise he wouldn’t have been so bold), I was ready to either Surrender or, if I beat him to the draw, Fight – by bashing him with my monkey wrench.

OUTSMARTING A RAPIST

Dr. Pauline Bart, studying victim's rape prevention strategies at the University of Illinois, found that the more strategies a victim uses, the more likely she is to escape with minimal injuries. If outsmarting or faking surrender fails, be ready to execute fight or flight of the:

Five Options for Victims of Violent Crimes

Also see Rape Escape Options - Overview for more thorough rape prevention.

It’s impossible to fully anticipate the panicky chaos of a sudden threat forcing you to choose among a victim's options in a split-second. Nonetheless, understanding your options now will help your Intuition choose an option then.

Carry Pepper Spray & a Personal Security Alarm (a.k.a. noisemaker or screamer) in plain sight.

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