How to Stop a Stalker

The Top 10 things you need to learn from stalking victims about how to stop a stalker.

1. Never let him know he’s having any effect on you – never give him a “reward.”

2. Shield your home as described in Home Security - Overview and Home Security Products Home Intro.

3. Never throw away any identifying mail. Shred everything.

4. If you’re being harassed by telephone, leave that line connected to a recorder for gathering evidence, and get a second line (unlisted) that you give only to your most trusted friends.

5. Get Caller ID on your phone.

6. Get a camera cell phone and document every encounter.

7. Have your friends, neighbors, and coworkers help shield you.

8. Change your schedule to make it harder to follow you.

9. Circle your block a few times before going home to see if he’s following you or lurking about your house (if so, go straight to the police station).

10. Plan an escape route in case the stalker enters your home, or which streets to use if someone follows you (whether you’re on foot or driving). Have it clear in your mind before you need to escape so that high anxiety won’t cloud your judgment.

One trick is to have a friend drop you off at a shopping mall entrance. You scoot in one door and out the other side of the mall where a second friend is waiting to whisk you away. That won't stop a stalker, but will give you at least a brief time-out anyway.

Outlasting the Stalker

“Often there is no end, no resolution. It just drags on and on with the victim never knowing if it is finally over.” - Psychiatrist Doreen Orion, MD, stalking victim and author of I Know You Really Love Me: A Psychiatrists Journal of Erotomania, Stalking, and Obsessive Love

Stalking may fade away, continue for years, or escalate. Sometimes an uneventful month gives you hope that it’s over, and then it starts again. The police have very little time to devote to protecting you. You’re essentially left on your own to deal with this mysterious, slow-motion crime. You must devise strategies to stop a stalker – and to provide police with evidence they can use in court.

Unfortunately, all strategies to stop a stalker require you to make sacrifices – from rearranging your daily routine to spending your money. Thus, you must be clever, patient, and ultimately outsmart the stalker.

You can choose Security Products - Simple Electronic to suit your unique needs and budget to stop a stalker - such as surveillance cameras on a digital recorder to reveal a prowler’s identity, or a hidden motion-sensitive full-color night-vision camera to secretly record the stalker in the act. And add outdoor security lighting all around your home. These devices might supplement an actual home alarm system – either Security Products Alarms or DIY Home Security Systems. As a bonus, these devices also help protect women from all types of criminals as well.

The key to stop a stalker is in outlasting him. If his efforts to connect with you or hear your voice never pay off, he’ll eventually tire of you and target a new woman to haunt. In fact, that’s the most common way for women to finally stop a stalker. Otherwise, ultimately, some women may have to change jobs and move far away while leaving no trail to follow.

Frank Ahearn, who describes himself as a privacy expert, is a man who makes a living from making people disappear. "A lot of women who come to me are trying to escape stalkers or violent husbands. ... Success is dependent on following a strict set of rules and, despite increasing technology storing huge amounts of personal information, he insists it is actually now easier for people to reinvent themselves than ever before. Technology is much more of a friend than a foe. "There are pay-as-you-go phones, even pay-as-you-go credit cards. The days when you had to go into a bank with an account book to withdraw money are long gone. ... "My job is basically to go through a checklist with the client and ensure that all loose ends are tied up. ... People ask about what's the best way to visit their friends and that kind of thing. “Those who think disappearing is an easy way out need to think again. The mistake people make is that they forget it's a complete lifestyle change, you can't do anything you used to do before. People get complacent and that's when they put themselves at risk of being discovered."
Excerpted from The Yorkshire Post (UK) – 14 March 2008

A private investigator might help you cover your tracks – and serve as a liaison back to your former home.

Instead of trying to deal with the problem on her own, a woman shared her situation with her friends, who banded together. They took turns staying overnight, visiting her at work, helping her take care of day-to-day chores; they swapped cell phones and cars and helped her move – twice. She was able to shake the stalker and move on with her life.
Excerpted from Diane Mapes’ column in The Seattle Post Intelligencer – 17 January 2008

Stalking experts Gavin de Becker, Linden Gross, Dr. Doreen Orion, and Captain Robert Snow (their books are listed below) contributed significantly to this stop a stalker page and recommend that you must:

• Absolutely avoid any talking with a stalker. He needs psychotherapy, but not from his victim. You’ll only make things worse by trying to reason with an unreasonable mind. Telling him again and again that you don’t want to talk to him means that you’re talking to him again and again. Even your shrieking at him to leave you alone gives him the perverse satisfaction of connecting with you.

• Deflate his threats by ignoring them. Sending a friend to threaten him may escalate the danger.

• Proceed with extreme caution. Though you’re greatly aggravated, do not act rashly by trying for revenge – that might fire him up even more, and besides, you might end up in jail.

How to Stop a Stalker - Books

Now you see why it’s far better to recognize the Stalker Warning Signs to stop a stalker early on – the sooner, the better – and nip it in the bud before it grows out of control and wreaks havoc in your life.

SAFETY TIPS FOR WOMEN

Checks
See FamilyWatchdog.us for the registered sex offenders in your area. But since rapists average 7 victims before their first arrest – many won’t be shown yet. And remember that sex offenders may be homeless or simply prowl outside their neighborhood, or – as 24% do nationwide – simply disappear.

Date Rape, Stalker Warning Signs, Domestic Violence, Protection Order, How to Stop a Stalker, & Personal Safety Devices

For rape prevention strategies, see Rape Escape Options - Overview and especially Rape Escape Options - Ultimate Rape Prevention.

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