RAPE VICTIMS' SELF-BLAME
The self-blame of rape victims is pointed in the wrong direction.
Victims of violent crimes are often so afraid of their
rage toward their attackers that they defend against this fury by
turning it against themselves. Why didn’t I know better? Why did I put
myself in that situation? Why didn’t I handle it better? Why wasn’t I
more courageous? I should have done this or that differently. It’s the
old “could’a, should’a, would’a” conundrum – where hindsight is always
20/20. The victim is now attacking herself with regret and remorse.
A self-blaming victim needs to think about predator/prey
situations more objectively by removing herself from the equation.
Imagine someone else – an innocent, trusting woman who trusted
somebody bigger and stronger and was overpowered and violated. Would
you blame her? Did her innocent misjudgment justify her being violated –
especially in such an intimate way? Of course not. Nor can you blame
Your anger is your outrage at being violated. To begin
healing, you need to direct your anger at the predator who violated you,
rather than at yourself.
Enhancing Your Recovery
In addition to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) therapy, what
can you do to empower your recovery? Victims of both stranger rape and
date rape can escape the lingering effects of a foul crime by becoming survivors
– thriving stronger than ever by learning rape escape options for the
An excellent means to regain control of their lives – and to
heal – is to thoroughly learn self defense. See Rape Survivors, Self Defense Techniques, and Choosing a Self Defense Class.
Enhancing Your Self Defense
Deter a predator by holding Pepper Spray & a Personal Security Alarm (noisemaker or screamer) in plain sight. And those pages show how to use them most effectively.
Crime-Safety-Security > Newsletter Archive > Rape Victims