Safety Tips for Women:
RAPE VICTIMS' SELF-BLAME

The Self-Blame of Victims of Stranger Rape and Date Rape

Victims of violent crimes are often so afraid of their rage toward their attackers that they defend against this fury by turning it against themselves. Why didn’t I know better? Why did I put myself in that situation? Why didn’t I handle it better? Why wasn’t I more courageous? I should have done this or that differently. It’s the old “could’a, should’a, would’a” conundrum – where hindsight is always 20/20. The victim is now attacking herself with regret and remorse.

A self-blaming victim needs to think about predator/prey situations more objectively by removing herself from the equation. Imagine someone else – an innocent, trusting victim who unwisely trusted somebody bigger and stronger and was overpowered and violated. Would you blame her? Did her innocent mistake justify her being violated – especially in such an intimate way? Of course not! Nor can you blame yourself.

Your anger is your outrage at being violated. To begin healing, you need to direct your anger at the predator who violated you, rather than at yourself.

In addition to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) therapy, what can you do to empower your recovery? Victims of both stranger rape and date rape can escape the lingering effects of a foul crime by becoming survivors – thriving stronger than ever by learning rape escape options for the future. An excellent means to regain control of their lives – and to heal – is to thoroughly learn self defense. See Rape Escape Options - Survivors and Self Defense Techniques.

Add to Your Options
Scare off a predator by carrying a Personal Security Alarm (a.k.a. screamer or noisemaker) & Pepper Spray in plain sight.

Contact Us for Michael Edward Loftus Sr to speak to your group.

Privacy Statement: I will never give your e-mail address to anyone. Promise.

Please forward this to anyone you know who needs it.

Go to
Return from Rape Victims to Newsletter Archive
Crime-Safety-Security.com Home Page