Workplace Safety
Resolving Conflicts

Workplace Safety - resolving conflicts, building a safety net before you need it, and defusing brewing violence.

“You have to take responsibility for what you are feeling and not blame the other person. The minute you look outside of yourself during a conflict, you have very little opportunity for a successful outcome. Instead of saying ‘You S.O.B.! How dare you?’, you need to make statements like ‘I feel like this when you do that to me.’” said Dr. Paula Jorne, a Birmingham MI family therapist quoted in The Detroit News.

Defusing a conflict requires calmly finding out what the other person wants, not blaming others or calling names, and working together to create options that will satisfy both parties. Create win-win workplace safety situations by truly listening and communicating. Maintain your dignity while treating the other person with respect and courtesy. Keep your voice quiet and your tone flatly unemotional. The point is to negotiate on principle, not pressure.

If tempers flare nonetheless, don’t argue, confront, or humiliate. Degrading his dignity only inflames him further. Control your own emotional reactions; or things will only get worse. Actively listening to his angry complaints lets him feel he's been heard. Remain calm and don't physically crowd him. Instead, stand back in a neutral posture – neither threatening nor fearful – and control your tone of voice, volume, and rate of speech. Use soothing words to agree with him, and begin redirecting the conversation toward a resolution of what angers him.

Ask the aggrieved person to suggest a solution. He'll more readily agree to a resolution that he helped formulate, as outlined in “Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In” by Roger Fisher.

If tempers are getting out of hand, invent an excuse to leave the area, then call for help from your supervisor or the police. If leaving is not an option, as a last resort, sometimes a thunderous command to "Stop!" – like a parent to a child – acts like a glass of water thrown in the face to shock a person to his senses.

(If a shooting rampage has already begun, people should flee toward outdoor exits rather than windowless, dead-end rooms. If trapped in a first-floor room use furniture or anything to smash a window, if necessary, to allow escape. See Shooting Rampage. Also, if possible, use a fire extinguisher to spray a dense fog to block a shooter’s view as you escape.)

"In every single workplace violence case where I've testified over the past 26 years, each person had an extensive history of violent behavior," said Steve Millwee, of SecurTest Inc. "He may have never been charged with a violent crime. But he has been involved in violent behavior all of his life." ... The trick is to train security professionals, human resource people and others to watch for workplace safety warning signs, take appropriate action and get the person out of the company, Millwee said. ... The best way to ensure workplace safety is to make sure you don't hire violent people, Millwee said. Employers can use extensive background checks and screening for workplace safety to help detect a violent past. And when violence is threatened, he said, an employer cannot downplay the threat. ... Firing employees who threaten violence can trigger violence, Millwee said, so employers should adopt a negotiating strategy that lets the employee quit his job and keep his dignity, and then get him help with his problem. ... Security people must create a companywide mindset that threats are usually precursors to violence.
Excerpted from The Dallas Morning News – 10 October 2004

HANDLING THREATS

Threats (by an unarmed person) are expressions of intent to inflict harm – almost always made by someone desperately distraught. Never ignore any threat. Never make counter-threats – yet don't show fear because it empowers the threatener by rewarding his attempts to intimidate.

Instead, try to reassure him by telling him, "You have good reason to be upset. In time, though, you'll feel less stressed and will find a better solution. You're too intelligent and dignified to do anything rash." As soon as possible, report the incident to your supervisor to make sure he gets the counseling he surely needs.

See Outsmarting. Also see Shooting Rampage and Hostage Taking.

Managers often don't know how helpful the police can be if someone is making co-workers feel uneasy but hasn't done anything obviously criminal, says Jack McDevitt, associate dean of the College of Criminal Justice. "We're not saying the police are the right solution to all problems of workplace safety, but they may be a solution that's frequently underutilized." ... When Comverse was preparing for layoffs, nervous managers wanted advice about how to assess risks and keep the office safe. They decided to have one uniformed officer on site and to position plainclothes officers within earshot when someone considered potentially volatile was being notified. No one reacted violently. ... There are many tools that companies don't use often enough, experts say. They should encourage employees who for whatever reason may not feel safe to go to their managers or to call the police. Managers can be trained to identify employees who might be experiencing domestic violence and reach out to them gently. Excerpted from The Christian Science Monitor – 15 September 2003

The American Crime Prevention Institute recommends being on the lookout for workplace safety situations such as a/an:
• Robbery, usually of cash businesses. Don’t endanger yourself by interfering with robbers and thieves.
• Angry consumer, enraged over a dispute, showing up to get revenge.
• Employee’s spouse or partner, in a spillover from a relationship dispute, showing up to wreak havoc.

Learn all about Workplace Safety and other areas of worker's lives:
• Workplace Safety - Overview
• Workplace Risks & Remedies: seeing warning signs before violence erupts.
• Resolving Conflicts (YOU’RE NOW ON THIS PAGE): handling verbal threats, defusing tension, intervening in a volatile situation, and building a workplace safety net before you need it.
• Bank & Store Robberies: minimizing the dangers.
• Real-Estate Agent Safety: protecting lone prey.
• Losing It - Petty Murders: cautionary tales of flirting with disaster for home, outdoor, and workplace safety.
• Recap & Resources for heading off trouble at work, outdoors, and home.
• Pepper Spray & Devices also provide safety at work.

Return to
Workplace Safety - Overview
Crime-Safety-Security Home Page