Victim's Options
Recap
Five Options

A Victim’s Options include:

SETTING YOUR BOUNDARIES
Don't turn your back on anyone you don’t trust – that invites an attack you won’t see coming. If he begins to approach you, take an aggressive stance, put one hand in a pocket as though you have a weapon ready, raise your other hand in a “STOP!” gesture, and fiercely command him to "Stay away from me!"

Better yet, also hold pepper spray and a noisemaker visible and at the ready. See Pepper Spray & Devices.

If he keeps coming, he’ll confirm your suspicions and you’ll have more chance to flee before he gets near. You can: flee, activate your noisemaker, pull out your pepper spray and hold it at the ready, or strike first! (see your 5th Option: Fighting.) And keep striking until you can safely run away to a populated area). If you flee, don’t worry about triggering a dog-like “chase response” – he’ll chase a victim only if he’d already planned to attack anyway. See Fleeing.

"Fight or flight” are the two most well known options. Martial arts' theory usually adds surrender to the mix. I’ve added two more: outsmart and posture, and aligned them all with FBI victim guidelines (and also clarified their clunky terminology):

The Five Victim's Options:
• 1st Option - Posturing: presenting yourself as a tough target (predators prefer easy prey). If that doesn’t work:
• 2nd Option - Fleeing, the most obvious choice, might not be possible. If not:
• 3rd Option - Outsmarting: by verbally defusing a confrontation and maneuvering toward escape. If that doesn’t work:
• 4th Option - Surrendering and hoping for the best; or preferably as a prelude to an escape, perhaps aided by:
• 5th Option - Fighting like a mad dog to enable your escape. Stun & run.

It’s impossible to fully anticipate the panicky chaos of a sudden threat forcing you to choose among a victim's options in a split-second. Nonetheless, understanding your options now will help your Intuition choose an option then.

Enhancing Your Options
Pepper Spray & a Noisemaker visibly ready will greatly enhance your first option – Posturing as a tough target – and probably deter a predator immediately. Your fifth option – Fighting – is enhanced as well.

A Victim's Face-to-Face Factors
• Your wariness: using a cell phone or headphones, or daydreaming, is like a lame antelope attracting a lion.
• The type of assailant: is he a scared yet volatile kid, a depraved lunatic, or somewhere in between?
• The presence of a weapon or an accomplice: neither may be visible at first.
• The location: populated areas might inhibit him. And, is it your turf or his? Familiarity makes a difference.
• Your personality: can a passive person be aggressive? Can an aggressive person surrender (or fake it)?
• Your abilities to strategize and fight.
• Your willingness to truly fight for your life – and to never give up.

Particular memory related phenomenon in traumatic situations include:
1. During the actual incident there is usually a "sensory overload" combined with a "fixation" on some particular aspect of the critical incident, often to the exclusion of all else.
2. Immediately after the incident, "post-incident amnesia" will often result in a failure to remember the majority of the information observed in the incident.
3. After a healthy night's sleep there is usually a "memory recovery" which will result in remembering the majority of what occurred, and this memory is probably the most "pure."
4. Within 72 hours the final and most complete form of memory will occur, but it will be at least partially "reconstructed" (and therefore somewhat "contaminated") after the inevitable process of integrating available information from all other sources (media).
Excerpted from "Critical Incident Amnesia: The Physiological Basis and the Implications of Memory Loss During Extreme Survival Stress Situations" by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman & Bruce K. Siddle at www.Killology.com.

A force predator ambushes a victim – or sniffs around briefly before pouncing. A friendly predator – a seemingly harmless guy getting close and gaining trust – first lures a victim into his trap, then attacks.

• If facing a burglar or robber, give up your valuables and allow him to escape – or you should escape.
• When facing an abduction (or if you’re isolated in your home by a burglar), your survival odds are far better by escaping immediately (see Kidnapping and Kidnap Survival.
• If you can’t flee, and outsmarting him or posturing isn’t working, you have two options left: surrendering or fighting. Dare you risk surrendering and putting yourself fully at the mercy of a criminal – or fighting? Only your intuition can guide you. If you do choose to fight, then attack him as described in When to Fight and Psycho Psyching in Optimal Mindset.
• If you’re confused and hesitate in choosing an option – “freezing like a rabbit” – Adele El-Ayoubi, a crime prevention expert at the Ann Arbor MI Police Department, advises that a victim use that time to visualize yourself surviving by any means necessary – either posturing, fleeing, outsmarting, surrendering, or fighting. See Visualizing Success in Acting.
• There are only two rules if you must fight: never fight fair and never give up.

See Pepper Spray & Devices.

For convenience, learn self-defense ONLINE:

KRAV MAGA, a practical self-defense system used by many police forces worldwide, teaches you to defend yourself, enhances your survival instinct, and can be applied under extreme stress. It's not flashy, just very effective. I highly recommend it. The Krav Maga TV - Online Training videos are especially convenient to learn at home when your schedule allows or if you don't live near a training center.

S.A.F.E. is being:
Skeptical of anyone trying to get near you or trying to isolate you,
Aware of danger zones and escape strategies,
Flexible: being tricky, changing strategies as needed – and if worse comes to worst:
Exploding like a mad dog to fight for your life. Stun & run. See Fighting Options.

RECOMMENDED READING
• Beauty Bites Beast: Awakening the Warrior Within Women and Girls by Ellen Snortland. Trilogy Books 1998.
• The Feminine Warrior: A Woman’s Guide to Verbal, Psychological, and Physical Empowerment by Al Marrewa. Kensington 1998.
• The 48 Laws of Power by Joost Elffers and Robert Greene. Viking Press 1998.
• The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense by Dr. Suzette Haden Elgin. Barnes & Noble Books 1993.
• Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In by Roger Fisher, et al. Penguin USA 1991.
• On Killing: The Psychological Cost of Learning to Kill in War and Society by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman. Back Bay Books 1995.
• Overkill: Mass Murder and Serial Killing Exposed by James Alan Fox and Jack Levin. Dell 1996.
• Protecting the Gift: Survival Signals that Protect Us from Violence by Gavin de Becker. Dial 1999.
• Protecting Your Life, Home, and Property by Captain Robert L. Snow. Plenum Press 1995.
• Serial Killers by Peter Vronsky – Berkley 2004
• Strong on Defense: Survival Rules to Protect You and Your Family by Sanford Strong. Pocket Books 1996.
• Surviving A Stalker: Everything You Need To Know To Keep Yourself Safe by Linden Gross. Marlowe 2000.
• Tough Target: the Street-Smart Guide to Staying Safe by J.J. Bittenbinder. Running Press 1997.

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