Victim's Options
5th Option: Fighting
for Your Life

How does a potential victim know for certain if someone is truly threatening her? She's legally responsible for her actions. She can't attack someone merely because she assumes he’s about to attack her. And exactly what constitutes “menacing” behavior anyway? It’s often largely a matter of opinion.

Such uncertainty can leave a victim stuck somewhere between the devil and the deep blue sea, paralyzed with indecision and vulnerable to a sly predator.

The sooner you act the better, and with split seconds to think and act, only Intuition can tell you when you truly are in danger. That is your crystal ball.

If fleeing isn’t possible, you might address the issue head-on by asking him, “Are you threatening me?” Sometimes, this direct question will cause him to reconsider and back off. Of course, however, it might not – and there is your answer. Sure, he may lie, but at least, that question defines the moment and sets boundaries.

If possible, establish your boundaries by taking an aggressive stance, raising your hand in a “Stop” gesture, and forcefully telling him to "Stay away from me!" If he continues, he’ll confirm your suspicions and you’ll have more chance to flee or fight before he gets near.

Security expert Gavin de Becker, author of “The Gift of Fear,” writes that when someone makes an unsolicited approach, and your intuition sends you doubt or suspicion, you’ve got all the information you need. Especially if you’ve already forcefully demanded, “Stay away from me!” – you don’t need to wait until you receive a substantial blow to the head before defending yourself. In other cases, as in my subway encounter in Posturing, there's no doubt as to the threat and you'll instinctively defend yourself – or surrender.

Yet oftentimes there’s no magical way to know for sure if he intends to harm you, but can you afford to wait and find out? Only you can decide when the danger of not acting outweighs the danger of acting – when the greatest risk is in not taking one.

Fight only in true self-defense, with only enough force to allow your or another victim's safe escape. That is all you're legally allowed to do. Don't fight to be macho, or out of anger. Roughly one-third of all homicides result from trivial altercations escalating into violence (see Losing It - Petty Murders).

However, if you can’t flee, outsmart, or posture, and you fear the consequences of surrendering, then only one option remains: fighting. Your best shot is a surprise-attack described in Sucker Punch.

There are two rules if a victim must fight for her life: never fight fair and never give up. Fight only with the will to win no matter what. Remember that some criminals are so relentless that they must be truly vanquished to allow your safe escape. It all comes down to whose will to win is greater. You must be ruthless – the dirtier the better – when you must do or die! See Psycho Psyching in Optimal Mindset, Rape Prevention, and Ultimate Rape Prevention.

How to fight is taught in Fighting Options. For now, the important points for a potential victim to consider are:
• If you do decide to fight – and initiate the violence – will you anger him and regret starting the violence? There’s no way to know. Sure, fighting back might get you killed, but so could surrender. Ask yourself, “Am I in imminent danger and unable to escape?” If the answer is “Yes,” then surprise-attack him first – thereby gaining the crucial advantage of acting rather than reacting. Then be ready for a possibly long, drawn-out fight.
• Using a defensive fighting stance to back off an unarmed thug might work – if you appear tough enough. But it spoils your surprise-attack – the extremely effective Sucker Punch.
• If you do decide to fight, act as soon as possible. Time quickly works against you; your chances are as good as they’re going to get when the crime starts. Immediately give up your property to a robber, and then escape. Almost always, do anything to avoid being bound, imprisoned, or moved to a more isolated location (see Kidnapping). Hesitating to fight for your life may well be the last mistake you’ll ever make.
• Act when the attacker is talking. An attacker doesn't normally make a move in mid sentence, so get him to talk, then Sucker Punch him and run.
• Even if you’re injured, never give up the fight for your life. When it’s time to “Do or die!” you’d better do. Wounded examines the fear of being punched, stabbed, or shot and how surviving a serious injury is often a matter of willpower. A crisis is hopeless only if you give up hope (see Hope is Key in Willpower.)

It’s impossible to fully anticipate the panicky chaos of a sudden threat forcing you to make split-second life-and-death decisions. Nonetheless, understanding your options now will help your Intuition choose an option then.

Pepper Spray & a Noisemaker visibly ready will greatly enhance your first option – Posturing as a tough target – and probably deter a predator immediately. Your fifth option – Fighting – is enhanced as well.

For convenience, learn self-defense ONLINE:

KRAV MAGA, a practical self-defense system used by many police forces worldwide, teaches you to defend yourself, enhances your survival instinct, and can be applied under extreme stress. It's not flashy, just very effective. I highly recommend it. The Krav Maga TV - Online Training videos are especially convenient to learn at home when your schedule allows or if you don't live near a training center.

Please note that the following is not Legal Advice. Local laws may differ. Consult your attorney.

If you had hurt the criminal while defending yourself, make sure the police don't mistake you for the criminal. And don’t let the trauma of defending your life tempt you to talk with foolish bravado about hurting him. Instead, make it clear that you were the victim and meant only to stop him from hurting you.

Beyond that, shut your mouth! – except to ask to be taken to a hospital. The adrenaline of the attack might mask your injuries. Make sure the doctors document and photograph all your injuries.

Say nothing more until you speak to an attorney or a counselor from a rape crisis Center. Make no written or taped statements without your attorney present – even though you’re an innocent victim. Criminals often cleverly twist the truth to blame the victim, and eyewitnesses are notoriously inaccurate. Realize that you’ve been traumatized and may not correctly remember details for several days. Changing details later may make you appear deceptive. Also, see To Help Solve a Crime in Spotting Danger.

The Five Victim's Options:
• Victim’s Options - Overview of the Five Victim's Options:
• 1st Option - Posturing: presenting yourself as a tough target (predators prefer easy prey). If that doesn’t work:
• 2nd Option - Fleeing, the most obvious choice, might not be possible. If not:
• 3rd Option - Outsmarting: by verbally defusing a confrontation and maneuvering toward escape. If that doesn’t work:
• 4th Option - Surrendering and hoping for the best; or preferably as a prelude to an escape, perhaps aided by:
• 5th Option - Fighting (YOU’RE NOW ON THIS PAGE) like a mad dog to enable your escape. Stun & run.
• Recap of Victim’s Options.

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